Fear and Loathing South of the 40 : Death Comes for Us All

There was a lot of good local news last week, mucho grande was going on in La Belle Province, or should I say ‘pas mal’.

Herds of Wild Shitting Rabbits

Lets kick off the week with a nice Easter story.
According to the Montreal SPCA (Society for the prevention of cruelty to animals) as reported by the Canadian Press, ‘Herds of rabbits abandoned after Easter’. Yes my friends, herds. The organization claims that they will take in close to 300 rabbits this year alone. “Many people buy rabbits as children’s pets around Easter weekend, that are then abandoned in shelters—either because people recognize their decision was an impulsive one, or because they were poorly informed about the amount of care that these animals actually require,” explains the SPCA. Now just how much care do people think is required in taking care of rabbits? This is the question I have. I know next to nothing about rabbits but I do know that they poop all over the place. Non-stop. They are little pooping machines. Maybe I am just thinking out loud here but if a person is smart enough to be raising kids don’t you think that same person should be smart enough to know that a rabbit requires a certain amount of care?

The Apotheosis of Rene Angelil

help me i'm poor

help me i’m poor

CBC ran story last week announcing that the Quebec Government will be kicking in $50,000 bucks for the funeral of Rene Angelil. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about Rene or Celine Dion, in fact my heart goes out to the whole family. That being said, between me, you and the fence post, Quebec is a province that has just gone through two years of austerity measures. Premier Couillard’s Liberals have tightened the belt so tight we can’t take a breath. I know this is a touchy subject but maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t the best use of tax payer’s money folks. Or is that just me?

Can we sell him?


Speaking of Couillard, PKP (Pierre Karl Peladeau), leader of the PQ came out swinging last week at Premier Couillard over the $537 million dollar sale of St-Hubert BBQ to Ontario based Cara Operations Ltd. I am not all that sure how that’s Couillard’s fault, but it has ruffled PKP’s feathers. Peladeau’s twitter account had several messages on it acknowledging the sale, but by far the best one was a map of Quebec with the slogan “For Sale, Please Contact Philippe Couillard.” This guy cracks me up, and you can’t deny they man has flair. This sale is hot on the heels of the Quebec owned hardware chain RONA being purchased for 3.2 billion by U.S. based Lowes. Maybe the bigger question here is, why are all of these large companies flying the coop? (Oh ya I said that, and I can actually feel your eyes rolling)

We Miss You Already

Rob Ford in the Toronto Star

Rob Ford in the Toronto Star

I know I did not mention the passing of Rob Ford last week. That was done deliberately. This man was in the media so much over the last couple of years it was astonishing, and it was never good news. Everyone took their jabs at Mr. Ford (including yours truly), and he was strong enough to take it on the chin and carry on. Of all the things I heard and read about former Toronto Mayor Ford’s passing, Jimmy Kimmel summed it up the best by saying he was “an unforgettable guy who loved his job and city like few men I’ve met.”

Tragedy in the Iles de la Madeleine

Another tragic event shocked the province of Quebec last week when it was announced that political commentator and former Liberal Cabinet Minister, Jean Lapierre was among seven people who died in a plane crash in Iles-de-la-Madeleine. Also on the plane were his wife, sister and two brothers. They were on the way to their father’s funeral that had passed away the week before at the age of 83.

The Round Up:

A couple of weeks ago I heard on CTV News that a man, Peter Hunt, was being charged with 2 counts of impersonating a police officer in Oakville, Ont. Then this week I read that a woman, Kim Larouche, is being fined $40 thousand smackers for pretending to be a nurse in two different hospitals in 2009. Now honestly, all kidding aside, WTF is wrong with people?

Last week there were multiple stories about how the Bombardier founding family lost hundreds of millions due to share price collapses. You know I tried to read this story, could not get through it, so I went to another news site and tried to read it there. I just can’t get through it. Truth be told it’s like someone telling me they took their dog for a walk and forgot the poop bag, I just don’t care. Trust me, the Bombardier family will have no problem paying for the groceries this week. But maybe the 7000 plus people they recently laid off by outsourcing jobs might.

Best headline of last week, CBC News ran a story – “NDP ‘too white’ party president Rebecca Blaikie’ says”. Well now Rebecca, how white is “too white?” Just wondering.

The Capper:

You are going to think that I made this next story up, but I swear to God, go and research it yourself, this is the real deal. A New York man, Fernando Estrella, was charged with drug trafficking by the Vermont authorities after over 1400 bags of heroin were discovered in his body. Now let’s be clear, by ‘in his body’, they mean up his ass. Personally I do not know how big your average bag of heroin is, so if anyone out there can pass along this info, I would be grateful. But let’s say, for the sake of argument they are as big as an acorn (I was going to say walnut, but changed my mind), there was 1400 of them! I had a whole bunch of prison jokes to make, but I won’t go there, please be my guest to help yourselves though.

Until next week, keep your head down and keep asking questions.

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About Ken Gaucher

Email Ken Gaucher at ken@montrealrampage.com More Posts