Fear and Loathing South of the 40 : Grilled Cheese Debate Gets Hot

Butter in the Pan or on the Bread?

Pulled Pork Grilled Cheese Sandwich. MLT DWN. Mt. Royal. Plateau. Photo Laura Dumitriu

Pulled Pork Grilled Cheese Sandwich. MLT DWN. Mt. Royal. Plateau. Photo Laura Dumitriu

For those of you who do not know, and shame on you if you don’t, last Tuesday, April 12th, was National Grilled Cheese Day. So before we get going this week I need to clear something up. I happened to be listening to Aaron Rand on CJAD driving home from work last Tuesday, he was speaking with someone about NGD and how to make a grilled cheese. The question was, do you butter the bread first, or do you put the butter in the pan. Let me clear this up, under no circumstances do you put the butter in the pan. You always and I mean always, butter the bread. People put all kinds of different things in the grilled cheese, personally I am an old fashion Kraft Singles sort of guy, but that is a personal choice. However, let me reiterate, you butter the outside of the bread when making a grilled cheese. Whew, glad that is taken care of, we may proceed.

You Get What You Pay For

throwing money

Lil Kim. throwing money

The CRTC (Canadian Radio-television and telecommunication commission) has reported that 66,000 Canadians have switched over to the new cable ‘skinny’ package (btw I’m one), however they are still plagued with complaints. Bruce Cran, who is with the Consumers’ Association of Canada says that they cannot ignore the hundreds of Canadians who have contacted the association complaining about the new package. The main complaint seems to be that once people change to the skinny package and add a few choice channels, their monthly cable bill is higher than what they were previously paying before they changed to the ‘skinny’ package. To top it off a new Angus Reid Institute Poll echoed this statement, saying most respondents found the new ‘$25 dollar basic package’ unappealing. Before we go any further let me ask a question, did people think that our good buddies at the big three cable companies were going to take all the best channels, bundle them up and give them to us for 25 bucks a month? It is called the ‘basic package’, I am not sure what these folks were expecting, but in my experience ‘basic’ usually means crappy. Here is the good news, if you are unhappy with the service, simply go back to what you had, or even better, cut it off. Basically, what I am saying is, for Christ sakes, suck it up.

Neologism

what did you expect

The following headline caught my attention last week – Impact Draft Pick Victimized by “Sextortionist”. Seems the Impact’s latest draft, Michael Salazar, preformed a compromising act in from of his webcam for a young woman which she recorded. The team was then sent a note asking for money in return for not posting this said recorded act on the internet. In Salazar’s defense he said he was not aware he was being taped. Well what did you think Salazar? Did you think that performing a lewd act on a webcam for a stranger was going to yield positive consequences? But more importantly, when the hell is did ‘Sextortion’ become a word. We can’t just go around making up words willy nilly.

Internet Dating Can be Hazardous to your Health

ok cupid

Last week 80 year old Melissa Ann Shepard was arrested for accessing the internet at the Halifax Central Library. This many sound like a crazy incident until you realize that Shepard is the notorious ‘Internet Black Widow’. Shepard was released from prison in March after serving a sentence for ‘serious assaults including administering noxious substances’ to her newlywed husband, Fred Weeks, while on their honeymoon, in layman’s terms, she poisoned him (one point for Shepard). She was sentenced in 2013. Oh but it doesn’t stop there my friends. In 1991 she was convicted and served 2 years of a six year sentence for killing her then husband, Gordon Stewart. Stewart was heavily drugged when she ran over him in their car… twice. For those of you who are counting so far that is 5 years for a murder and attempted murder so far. Shepard was married in 2000, to Robert Friedrich, a Florida man. A year later his family noticed his health was failing and his money was missing. He died in 2002 of cardiac arrest, no charges were laid. So far that’s, Shepard 3, old guys 0. But the old guys make a comeback in 2005 when Shepard is sentenced to 5 years in prison over a slew of charges stemming from another relationship she had with another Florida man. Did I mention she is 80? You gotta admit this is some fascinating stuff. Moral of the story, if you’re an old guy, stay off the internet.

The Round Up:

A survey by the Winnipeg based Ufology Research released last Monday says there were 1267 UFO sightings in Canada last year, and guess who lead the country? You got it, Quebec. Quebec was responsible for 35% of all UFO sighting in 2015. I have it on good authority that there was an actual landing however since there was no French posted on the UFO the language police were called in and the aliens were asked to move further down the 401 to Ontario.

The headline read – Will and Kate make 93-year-old restaurateur’s dream come true in India. All I could think was ‘after 93 years that is your dream? Really?

The Capper:

Fattal Fest 2015. The Barrel Heads. Photo Antigoni Dimopoulos

Photo Antigoni Dimopoulos

There was this whole thing about a ‘Shanty town’ in St-Henri last week. According to reports, a property in the Southwest borough had a number of run down sheds that were housing people. Depending on which reports you listened to there were propane tank issues, all night parties, people having rocks thrown at them, over all it seemed like quite the hullaballoo. The fire department and city officials were sent in to check it out. Looks like they found a couple of lights, a lazyboy and a TV, apparently one of the residents who rents an apartment there likes to hang out in the sheds. Bit weird, but hey, no law against it.

Until next week, keep your heads down but keep your eyes in the sky, never know what you might see.

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About Ken Gaucher

Email Ken Gaucher at ken@montrealrampage.com More Posts