Overhyped and Underseen
I was at a Christmas party last week and I swear, every second conversation I had involved the scandal surrounding the movie “The Interview”. If you’ve not heard all the hoopla, consider yourself lucky and move on with your life, at least skid to the next paragraph. I had no intentions of seeing this movie to begin with. Then things got a bit interesting when there was a chance you could get blown up if you went to see it. But now with all the hype surrounding this thing I wouldn’t see it if you paid me. People, the President of the United States of America has commented on the actions of Sony (Don’t belittle yourself Mr. Obama). Jumping Jesus Murphy H. Christ, this is a movie people, a fictional piece of work made to entertain for an hour and a half. How can this thing live up to the hype now anyway? It’ll be worse than when I went to see the Blair Witch Project, what a piece of crap that was. On a side note we did a secret Santa gift exchange and I got a bottle of ‘Red Rectum Hot Sauce’. I do love my hot sauce.
Ticket of the Month
How long have we suspected, no let me rephrase. How long have we known, that Police have a quota of tickets to give out? Oh no one was publicly admitting it, not the police, and certainly not the city of Montreal, but we all knew. Then came Bill 3, the Bill that will change the way public servants pay into their pensions. Well slap my ass and call me a donkey, all of a sudden the police were telling every reporter they could get their hands on there are ticket quotas. Actually they’re called ‘objectives in the matter of road safety’. At first the city denied it, but then hey, it is what it is, we’re giving them out, and you’re paying them suckers. The city went so far as to bring the Police Union to court for slacking off on not giving out enough tickets during Bill 3 negotiations. Well, last week the Police Union began a campaign seeking the public’s help in putting an end to these unsavory quotas. The very same quotas that for years they have actively denied existed. The Police Union will be giving out pamphlets that look like tickets, urging Montrealers to let Mayor Coderre know we don’t like quotas either. Funny, the last time I was given a ticket the police officer really didn’t look like he felt bad at all for filling his quota.
We are Cheap-Ass Bastards
This one surprised me. A study released by the Fraser Institute indicated that Canadians are not giving as much to charities as they used to. That part does not surprise me. Let’s face it; we are pretty strapped for cash. However, the study said that Quebecers are amongst the least generous in Canada, and that part surprised me. Average dollar value of a donation given to a charity: Alberta came in first at $2227, while Quebec came in last at $726 (Man things have got to be good in Alberta). We still have time folks, it is the season. Even if it’s 5 bucks to a local homeless person, giving makes you feel good.
Last week at a Glance:
In town at the wrong time
Prime Minister Harper was in town last week. You might have seen his motorcade screwing up traffic all over town. The guy is the Prime Minister, why does he have to travel during rush hour?
Snowdon Councillor Marvin Rotrand put forward a motion to tax soft drinks last week. He asked the Provincial Government to consider a 35 cents tax on every liter of soft drink sold. “The tax would reduce consumption, it would have people think twice about buying an unhealthy soft drink product,” he said. I hate to tell you this Councillor Rotrand, but no it won’t. Can we all see the money grab here?
Speaking of taxes, the city of St-Lambert, on Montreal’s south shore, has introduced a new tax for people with swimming pools. I am serious. If you own an above ground pool, you are looking at a $50 a year tax increase, and for inground pools $70 smackeroos. The city said it is not about the money but about reducing water consumption. I don’t really see how this is going to reduce water consumption. Does the city of St-Lambert think people are going to be like, “What! 50 bucks to fill my pool, FUCK YOU! Kids, no pool this year!”
Keep It Simple, McD’s
If you are feeling the pinch this season you aren’t alone, times are tough all over. Even the fast food chain McDonald’s is feeling the crunch. They announced last week that due to bad profits they will be slimming down the menu, making it easier to understand. Hey Micky D, we don’t want wraps and sandwiches and all that. We just want burgers!! If it ain’t got ‘Mc’ in front of it, get rid of it. Then supersize dat shit, da da da da da, we’re lovin it.
Last word of the Week:
Well it has finally been done. The people who brought you the game ‘Cards against Humanity’ has sold 30,000 boxes of actual ‘Bullshit’. Last ‘Black Friday’, 30,000 shoppers went online and at $6 a pop bought up 30,000 boxes of poop, and here is the best part. The 30,000 packages of poop sold in under 30 minutes, proving the point, people will pretty much shit their money away
Contact Ken and give ’em hell or buy him a burger at firstname.lastname@example.org