Fear and Loathing South of the 40 : Puns and Other Good Tidings

stanstead border crossing. photo nancy berman. stanstead border crossing. photo nancy berman.

Scrooged

I am not sure what the hell happened last week but I am getting the old “The genie is out of the bottle feeling.” If you do not follow the news as closely as I do, let me be the bearer of glad tidings. Last Saturday, we saw tens of thousands of people march against austerity in Montreal and Quebec city. This was followed on Monday by 14,000 daycare workers holding a one day strike (that affected about 90,000 folks). Tuesday roughly 9,000 white-collar workers went on strike to protest pension reform. The bill actually passed into law last Thursday amongst vows of retaliation from just about every union in the province. All of that right here in La Belle Province, don’t even let me get started about what is happening over the border. Like I said, I’m not sure what’s happening but what I am sure about it that there are a shitload of unhappy people out there.

Hindsight is 20-20

Speaking of unhappy people, Yalda Machouf-Khadir, the daughter of Quebec Solidaire leader Amir Khadir, wants her criminal record wiped clean because she is studying law at UQAM and having a criminal record could hurt her chances of becoming a lawyer. Well now Miss Machouf would you like to know what I would like? I would like to be 20 years old and going to school again. My point here is, (in case it isn’t coming through loud and clear) who cares what you would like. You did the crime, you pleaded guilty, you got convicted. Live with it. Sheesh.

Best Stand-Up in the City

NDG – Cote des Neiges councillor Jeremy Searle was in the news again last week. The story goes he showed up late and drunk for the borough meeting last Monday night. Searle kissed his fellow councillor Magna Popeanu during the meeting (pretty sure that’s a no no) then tore a strip off of borough mayor Russell Copeman when he was asked to leave. The Police were called and Searle left the council table to watch the rest of the meeting from the audience. Searle denies being drunk. Here is my question, is this guy getting paid? If so, where do I sign up?

Changes Afoot

Couple of stories from around town. The Montreal Executive Committee is going to vote on a motion that will allow the Plateau to extend its business hours. Store owners in the borough want the right to stay open past 5 p.m. on Saturday and Sundays. On the other side of town the borough of Verdun has voted to lift a ban on bars. Yes sir, the liquor will flow in old Verdun once more. Mayor Jean-Francois Parenteau said the ban was lifted to “improve the quality of life in various neighborhoods.” Look I have nothing against bars, as long as I don’t live beside them, but seriously, when have you ever heard of a bar ‘improving’ the quality of someone’s life? Hey, I may be wrong.

Last Week at a Glance:

sux-bvr

For those of you waiting to purchase a vanity license plate, looks like you are going to wait a little longer, at least until 2017 says Transport Minister Robert Poeti. Poeti said the story about the project being delayed due to the fear people might put vulgar English expressions on them is bogus. It is simply that the Société de l’assurance automobile du Québec’s computer system has to be upgraded. Well 2-bad, sux-ass (get it, they would be plates!) If you could have your own vanity plate, what would it read?

Cheap, Good, or Fast

Family doctors are pretty upset about the Government’s new proposal that would force them to see at least 1000 patients a year or face financial penalties. Health Minister, Gaetan Barrette, says this will allow everyone in the province to have a family doctor (but you only get to see them for 15 mins a year).

Crap Shoot

If you got the flu shot this year I got good news and not so good news. Ok I am lying , I only have not so good news. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are saying that this years flu has mutated and the vaccine is might not do the job. Hey lets face it, it’s a crap shoot anyway. (Get it, the flu, crap shoot), but how about flushing your money down the toilet ( get it, the flu, flushing). But honestly what a pain in the ass (get it, the flu, pain in the ass). Alright, that’s enough.

Last Word of the Week:

 

Hundreds of fans, former teammates and the Premier of Quebec showed up at the Bell Center this past weekend to honor the late great Jean Beliveau. There is nothing I can say about this great man that has not already been said. A quote I read from Dickie Moore who was at the memorial “I think Jean would love to stand up and say thank you.” A bit weird and creepy but ok.

Thanks for all the good you did, Mr. Beliveau. You made us all proud to be Quebecers.

Tell Ken what your vanity plate says at ken@montrealrampage@gmail.com

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About Ken Gaucher

Email Ken Gaucher at ken@montrealrampage.com More Posts