Quebec Fear Factor: Juicebox Scum and Zombie Manifestations

Fear and Loathing South of the 40 # 5

A four-year old Montreal girl discovered one of the nastiest things ever to come out of a juice box. Azia Lannantuono took a sip of her Oasis orange juice last week and told her mother “it tasted gross”. Her mother, Nancy Lannantuono, then took a sip also noticing a strange taste. They opened up the container, lo and behold, there was the Toxic Avenger. Holy Jumpin’ Jesus look at that thing!

Rat from Juice Box

Rat from Juice Box

Opening all of the cartons in the case they discovered two other containers were contaminated with the same sludge. The family took photos and contacted Oasis parent company Lassonde Industries in Rougemont Quebec. The company did get back to Lannantuono telling her “not to worry” and that if Azia had not gotten sick she would not get sick. A spokesperson from the company told CBC News they tested a sample of the juice from the same batch and the juice was fine. How about we take some of that juice, put this here little nugget in it and watch that spokesperson gobble it down. Let’s see how fine it is then!

Last week FTQ whistleblower Ken Pereira joined Dan Delmar on CJAD’s “the Exchange”. As a former FTQ Union Executive, Pereira was a star witness last year at the Charbonneau Commission. Delmar hails him as a one man wrecking crew, helping expose waste and incompetence inside the FTQ, as well as uncomfortable ties between construction entrepreneurs and politicians. After listening to the interview I have to say this guy has a set of cojones on him that must make it hard walking up the stars. Pereira sings louder than a Baptist minister on Easter Sunday. If you are in the slightest way interested in the corruption that goes on in the city of Montreal, take the time to listen to this interview.

I just don’t think the City of Montreal gets how it works sometimes. Last week, Le Réseau de transport de la capitale (RTC) announced that they would be hiking up the prices of public transport. On the same day Le Devoir ran a story saying that the Société de transport de Montréal (STM) had a shortfall of 65 million dollars and would have to cut 3.1 percent of its bus service. In a nutshell, they want us to pay more for less. Not a very good start to your term Mayor Coderre. When is the last time the Big Shots over at the RTC and the STM took a bus you think?

Last week at Quebec’s National Assembly hearings on Bill 60 (secular charter), Line Chaloux, who is a director at a charity called Coffret à St. Jerome, made some very interesting points concerning the charter and Quebec’s values.

1.She believes that Mormons should be expelled from Quebec.
2. Zombies should be banned from Quebec.

Here here, I say! In fact lets take it one step further and ban all Mormon Zombies! I am sick of those assholes knocking on my door and waking me up on Sunday mornings trying to give me their bibles and eat my brains all at the same time. Hit the road Jack, there is no room in La Belle Province for the likes of youse! Honestly people, our tax dollars are paying for this horse and pony show yet I can’t find a freaking family doctor! What a shit show!

A Pittsburgh woman has been arrested for selling heroin … get this …  at a McDonald’s Drive Thru!! Oh ya, you read it right, but let me repeat it, at a McDonald’s Drive Thru. Here is how it worked. The customers would order a Happy Meal and say the magic phrase “I’d like to order a toy.” Is that the best they could come up with? No wonder they got caught. They would be told to go to the first window, and 82 bucks later drive away with some Smack. Did they have to buy the Happy Meal too? Does heroin give you the munchies? Whatever, da da da da da, I’m lovin it!


Here is the last word of the week, a story that ran in the Toronto Sun. A 67-year-old Markham woman, Barb Scollick, was scammed out of 4000 dollars by a man pretending to be her son in trouble. The person in question called Scollick up on the phone, telling her he had been “involved in a collision with a rental car from Quebec and had blown slightly over the limit while taking a Breathalyzer test.” A second caller, describing himself as her son’s lawyer, told her to wire $1995 through Western Union to take care of the other party’s rental call, and then (no I am not making this up) called back asking to wire another $1995 for bail, to which she complied again. Scollick said that the person on the phone did not sound “unlike” her son and that she wants others to learn from her ordeal. Whoa! Hold on a second, lets back this gravy train up a minute. No, it is never nice when we hear about old people being duped out of money, but at some point people have to be responsible for their actions, no? Is it just me? I mean unless Ms. Scollick has some form of dementia (if she does, I am sorry) were there not any warning bells going off here! He sounded not “unlike” her son. Why didn’t you ask him what he did on his tenth birthday, or how about that vacation you guys took when he was 15 or any other of the one million questions that would have told you he was your son? I am really not sure what we are supposed to learn here except my bullshit tolerance level just went up a couple of pegs.

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About Ken Gaucher

Email Ken Gaucher at ken@montrealrampage.com More Posts