Ask Cece: Domination vs. Passion
want to work in a male dominated industry.. food to be exact.. but my boyfriend
doesn’t believe I can or should. I think he’s afraid of how busy I would be.
Maybe a little insecure about me being surrounded by men. Either way I don’t
know how to convince him that I can do this. What are your thoughts on this?
Please, I beg, don’t try to convince him.
Don’t try to convince anyone. If this is your passion, your life’s calling,
your true purpose, just go for it.
Anyone who stands in your way should be questioned.
People in your circle should be convincing you that they’re worthy of taking
this journey with you. Not the other way around.
A few months into our relationship, my
boyfriend decided to go back to school. With everything else we were already juggling
it would’ve been way easier to just
break up since it was way before we got serious. But we didn’t. We have always
operated on a schedule which may sound extremely boring to some people but it’s
what worked. And why do all of that? Put simply, I respected what he had going
on and vice versa.
I think the same should go for you. You
should have the kind of relationships that support you rather than limit you.
I really believe in the importance of
surrounding yourself with people who believe in you and push you to be better.
I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t try to talk someone out of pursuing their dreams,
so why would you tolerate that? I hate this term with a passion but that’s what
would be referred to as “toxic behaviour.” Those people need to get to the root
of their own problems with your success* and
leave you out of it.
At the very most, I would attempt to have
exactly one conversation with your
boyfriend to really get to the bottom of what he’s thinking and feeling. You
could try reassurance. Maybe even coddling his little feelings for a minute.
But— and I can’t stress this enough—DO NOT TRY TO CONVINCE HIM.
You hold your head high and go follow that
dream, girl. Never ever look back at who didn’t go with you. You won’t remember
them when you’ve made it anyway.
*and perhaps their own failures? Insecurity can manifest in a lot of strange ways.