Fear and Loathing South of the 40 : Ask a Doctor

stanstead border crossing. photo nancy berman. Stanstead border crossing. Looking into the USA. Photo Nancy Berman.

Wasn’t Me

I promise I will get to the funny stuff in a minute but first I have to comment on something that shakes me to my very core (if you are not in the mood, skip down a few lines, I’ll understand). In 2008, Brian Sinclair, a double amputee in a wheelchair, went into a Winnipeg Hospital because of a blocked catheter. He waited in the waiting room for 34 hours, vomiting and dying slowly from a very treatable bladder infection. An inquest into Mr. Sinclair’s death finds it was not homicide and does not require a public inquiry. Finally, they get something right!! There’s no need for a public inquiry ’cause even a monkey can see what went on here. Judge Tim Preston who led the inquest said Mr. Sinclair “did not have to die”. Arlene Wilgosh, president and CEO of the Winnipeg Regional Health Authority said “On behalf of the Winnipeg Regional Health Authority, I would like to again apologize to Mr. Sinclair’s family. We are very sorry we failed him.” There are apologies, excuses, recommendations and all kinds of bullshit coming in from every direction. But as yet there has not been one single person who has actually lost their job over this horrific incident, not one single person who has been held accountable. Wilgosh said that “This was a professional, career-turning point for many at the hospital, some of whom abandoned their nursing careers as a result”. Good, but not good enough.

 

Accidentally Pregnancies

 

Twenty five-year-old Karoline Baillargeon went into a St. Eustache hospital with major cramps and came out with a healthy baby girl. “I really wasn’t feeling well. I had major cramps. Since I had a history of cysts, my doctor had given me an appointment for an ultrasound. But during the night, the cramps were too intense, so I went to the hospital emergency room. That’s when they told me they were contractions,” Baillargeon said. She does admit that she had recently gained weight, 9 kilos to be exact (that is about 20 lbs). UMMMM…. if I gain 20 lbs in a few months I’d be asking some questions. Hey what can you say, crazy stuff happens right? I remember once I thought I only had to fart but then… well that’s not the same at all.

 

Little Known Facts About Montreal

 

While we are on the subject of hospitals, last week a group of workers held a demonstration outside of Montreal’s Chinese Hospital, on the corner of Viger St. E. They were protesting against Bill 10 which would see reform to Quebec’s health care institutions. I think the bigger question here is, who the hell knew Montreal had a Chinese hospital?

Boob of the Week

Boob of the week award (and he won it big time) goes to Maple Leaf goalie Jonathan Bernier. Bernier was attending a Toronto Raptors event celebrating Nelson Mandela. An interviewer comes up and asks him his thoughts on the legendary figure. Bernier goes on to say “what a great athlete he was”, “what an impact he had on all sports” (no way, you have to be joking), it is pretty clear that he hasn’t a clue who Mandela is. It’s so excruciating I couldn’t even watch the whole clip. To think that anyone in the free world cannot instantly recognize the name Nelson Mandela blows my mind. Bernier later apologized saying it was the red carpet jitters. Maybe a bit less red carpets and a bit more social awareness wouldn’t hurt, what do you think?

Last Week at a Glance

Signs of the Times

The Main. Smoked Meat. Photo Rachel Levine

The Main. Smoked Meat. Photo Rachel Levine

Another of Montreal’s icons is going in the shitter. “The Main” deli, on St-Laurent, has been sold. The new owner is changing things up with the idea of making a franchise restaurant out of it. Let me lay down some of the changes so far. Solely farm raised meat with no chemicals, the rye bread will now be gluten free, adding salades to the menu and all the classic Hebrew dishes they served… Gone! Sweet weeping Jesus, I ask you, why can’t people just leave shit alone?c

Under the Knife

The Universite de Montreal’s plastic surgery department is being threatened with decertification due to bullying of the students. The students claim they are being intimidated and harassed. Perhaps someone should mention to them that they are no longer in grade 3. If you don’t like it there, here’s an idea, leave. Listen, in a few years you will be pulling down 500 large a year and the heaviest thing you’ll have to pick up is a pair of silicon boobs. Suck it up ya bunch of babies.

Last Word of the Week:

OMG, why didn’t I think of this?

i hate her calgary flames

i hate her

Ken Gaucher can be reached at ken@montrealrampage.com

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