Facebook, the Dufour-Lapointes, and the Hours of Sex Shops. A Week of Bests and Worsts

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Facebook turned 10 years old. Seems like just yesterday we were all opening up Myspace accounts, remember Myspace? Statistics show that in the last ten years Facebook has amassed a whopping 1.23 billion monthly users, or one sixth of the world’s population. Last week CTV News ran a list of the 8 “Best and worst things” about Facebook. Number one best: “sharing music”. Number one worst: “too much information”. How about number one worst “No one gives a shit!”. For some reason people get on Facebook and think the rest of the world cares what they had for supper, or what time they have their daily bowel movement, or that the guy in the cubicle next to them picks his nose and wipes it under his desk. Sure there is plenty that is great about Facebook, I admit, but there is so much wrong with it too. People I ask you to help me out here, let us rise up and make our own list. Is there more Best about Facebook, or is there more Worst about Facebook?

Here’s a best. Best head line of the week “Porn Videos Not ‘Hygienic or Sanitary’” (debatable?). Seems a Montreal sex shop has been shot down in a bid to have extended hours of operation because it sells “hygienic and sanitary” products. Justice of the peace Johanne White said, “It’s doubtful that most people would consider sex toys a product that needs to be available outside of regular commercial hours.” Judge White went on to say, “The court does not believe that public health will be any worse for it.” You know what that means don’t you? Stock up.

An Ontario Judge has upheld a Quebec ruling ordering 13 children in the Lev Tahor sect to be surrendered to child welfare authorities, CBC News announced last week. You might remember this story from last November, where about 200 members of the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community high-tailed it out of Sainte-Agathe-des-Monts after being investigated by Quebec social services. Quebec youth protection officials had concerns about the children’s health, hygiene, schooling as well as the age in which some girls in the group were being married off. Uriel Goldman, a spokesman for the group, says the group feels that anti-Semitism explains the reason they were targeted. I am not buying this one. If Lev Tahor believed they were doing nothing wrong, why did they do the old “now you see me, now you don’t” midnight move? Hey guys, the 1800’s called, they said you can’t marry your daughters off at 13 anymore, ya creepers!

Speaking of creepers, Woody Allen has finally responded to Dylan Farrow’s abuse claims. “Of course I did not molest Dylan,” Allen said in an open letter to the New York Times. Allen was already investigated for this one 21 years ago and was never charged. No one will ever know what really happened here. Let’s pray that Woody is telling the truth. However we are talking about a guy who married his wife’s adopted step daughter Soon-Yi Previn and admitted to having an affair with her while still married to Mia Farrow. All I am saying is, if it waddles like a duck, and quacks like a duck…..

At a Glance:

Wiarton Willie, Canada’s famous winter forecasting ground hog, came out of his cozy den last week and saw his shadow. You know what that means? Canadians can expect another six weeks of what has already been a long and shitty winter. Screw you Wiarton, and all the old top hat wearing guys with you!

Here is one all the way from Nashville, Tenn. A Tennessee judge who ordered a baby’s name changed from Messiah to Martin has been fired. His argument was that the name Messiah was reserved for Jesus Christ. I say, hey, give Marty a chance, you never know. His parents Joseph and Mary will appeal the decision.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has lost his fight to remove the rainbow flag from flying outside of city hall. The flag raising was meant as a response to Olympic host Russia’s anti-gay laws. Ford said, “The Olympics are about being patriotic to your country; this is not about someone’s sexual preferences!” I say, when was the last time someone gave a shit about what Rob Ford thought?

Here is the last word of the week: Canada gets its first gold medal at the 2014 Sochi Winter Games! Montreal’s own, 19-year-old, Justine Dufour-Lapointe won gold at the women’s moguls last Saturday. Best part is, she is followed by her sister, 22-year-old sister, Chloe, who won silver. Best, best part, their 25-year-old sister Maxime came in 12 in the same competition! Has there ever been a hotter sister act to compete at Olympic Games? Don’t think so. Look at these girls.

Worst part: being Maxine at home after the games, sitting around the supper table. “Can the only sister who did not win a medal at Sochi, please pass me the butter, thank you.”