Fear and Loathing South of the 40: Between an Election and a Melting Glacier

Work is long Work is long

Well friends and neighbors, we’ve made it into the home stretch of the 2014 Quebec Election. The election that should never have happened, aka Marois’s big gamble. By the time you read this it will all be over, but for right now let me give you the skinny on the last week lead-up.

Shameless Pandering

Dorval Interchange Plans

Dorval Interchange Plans

Last Thursday as I drove home from work listening to the news, I heard Pauline Marois promising to speed up work on the Dorval Exchange to help lighten traffic in the West Island of Montreal. I shook my head feeling like I had just been sucker punched, almost swerved right off the road. I had to pull off the highway and hyperventilate into my lunch bag. The PQ trying to do something positive for the English West Island. It was all too much. That just might be the thing that sways my vote.

Convenient Memory Loss

Claude Blanchet and Pauline Marois

Claude Blanchet and Pauline Marois

A Radio Canada report last Tuesday claims Parti Quebecois leader Pauline Marois’s spouse Claude Blanchet, solicited $25,000 big ones from an engineering firm during the 2007 PQ leadership race to help his wife take over as the big kahuna of the PQ. In a letter from his lawyer Blanchet denied allegations saying there was no PQ leadership race in 2007. Are you kidding me? Once it has been established that this event actually did happen, the leadership race I mean, Marois responded that, “The campaign was so fast that Blanchet forgot about it and so did she.” Holy Shit! There’s denial and then there’s denial. Ok, deny you took the money, but you can’t deny that actual historical facts happen. I can hardly wait until after the election. “Election, what election?”

Poop

poo crew

poo crew

If the Liberals do come into power how much better off are we, I ask you. Granted there will be no referendum, but Liberal supporters, wipe that smug look off of your faces. Let us not forget that only a year and a half ago we could not wait to get Charest and his Party out of office, they were stinkin’ up the whole province. Now we have Couillard and his party. How much of that party is the same? Hey you can take 10 pounds of crap, put it in a different bag and call it dinner, but at the end of the day, it is still 10 pounds of crap. Not that I am calling the Liberal party 10 pounds of crap. I am just saying you could do that.

Where’s Waldo?

Finally found a photo of PKP (Pierre Karl Peladeau) in a newspaper last week. I have to admit I was getting worried. Ever since the whole “fist pumping,” “make a country of Quebec” incident, the PQ have kept him locked away tighter than Quasimodo in the bell tower. I am just happy to know he is ok.

Last Week At A Glance:

Cheapest MP in Canada

Eve Adams

Eve Adams

Has anyone else been following the whole Eve Adams affair? She’s fantastic, but then with a name like Eve Adams, you know she’s gonna be a cracker jack. Take a few minutes to look her up (she’s an MP). There is all kinds of stuff about her floating around, but I read one in particular last week. Last December’ Adams, unsatisfied with a car wash she got in John Newcombe’s Ottawa Esso station, parked directly in front of his pumps to prevent access to them. Newcombe says he repeatedly asked her to leave but she became threatening and confrontational, saying “I’m timing how long it takes for me to get my refund!” Want to know what the big refund was? Six bucks! The whole thing was over six bucks. Canada is obviously not paying its MPs enough, if they have to fight over a six-dollar car wash. What a cheap skate.

The future is not friendly

Last Monday, the International Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) released its latest report on global warming. The report was drawn from more than 300 scientists and 12,000 scholarly articles to provide the most comprehensive portrait of climate risks so far. And you know what it says? WE ARE FUCKED! (Not exactly, but it might as well have.) I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer or anything but here are some of the highlights: water supplies are under threat, heat waves and heavy rains are increasing, the ice caps and sea ice in the Arctic are collapsing, and oceans are rising at a rate that threatens coastal communities. Holy Jumpin Jesus, Ladies and Gents, it don’t sound good. I wish I had something funny, or even remotely humorous to say about this but… Look if you read this write me back, maybe you good people have some ideas, I am all out.

Devil in a Pair of Lattes

Satanic Lattes

Satanic Lattes

So Starbucks had to issue an apology to a customer way down in Louisiana after a barista served a pair of lattes (do you know how hard it is for me not to use a really immature joke when I say “pair of lattes”) scrawled with a pentagram and the numbers 666. Megan K. Pinion, the customer in question, wrote on her Facebook page, “Unfortunately I can’t give the young mans (sic) name who served it because I was so appalled that I could not bring myself to look at him.” Honey if that’s all it takes to appall you, you gotta get out a bit more, sheeesh.

Last Word of the Week:

April Fool’s Day happened last week. Now I am not a big prankster, and do not really participate but I did hear about THIS, so I looked it up. Give it a gander and enjoy.

 

You can reach Ken Gaucher by emailing Ken@montrealrampage.com

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