Fear and Loathing South of the 40 : Things We’d Rather Not Know

Hail Mary

I began writing this week’s column on Good Friday morning. You know why? I was not at work, thank you Jesus, and happy Passover to all my Jewish friends whom I am sure, are also thanking Jewish Jesus.

Mass Murders

It was a very disturbing week in the news last week. Let me start by apologizing for my language when I say “What the fuck is going on Canada?” Matthew de Grood, a 22-year-old man committed the worst mass murder in the history of Calgary when he stabbed 5 young people to death early last Tuesday morning at a house party. Later on the same day (yes the same day), at the Cornwall center in downtown Regina, a young man wearing a red bandana started randomly stabbing people. Four people were injured, three taken to hospital and one treated on the scene and released. There are many more details that I will not go into; it’s just to sad, and quite scary. I try to keep things light here but human disasters such as these should not be ignored. They need to be addressed, remembered and hopefully not repeated. My heart goes out to the victims and the families of the victims. Please people, this is Canada, land of the please and thank you’s. Let us keep our wits about us.

Coulda Been Worse

On to brighter things. Last Saturday a woman in her forties survived falling off of the platform and onto the subway tracks at Toronto’s Castle Frank subway station as the train rolled in! It is believed that she lay flat between the rails and the train passed over her. How the hell does one fall onto subway tracks? The woman was taken to hospital to be treated for minor cuts, bruises and the extraction of a large load from her pants.

A Good Probing

Civil War Medical Kit

Civil War Medical Kit

Meanwhile back at the ranch, the Quebec Liberals were sworn in last Thursday, but the romance seems to be over as soon as it started. It was leaked that Quebec’s anti-corruption unit is investigating one current and three former Liberal MNAs for breach of trust, corruption and illegal party financing. Former Deputy Premier Nathalie Normandeau is the big name in this scandal, so far, she has rejected the allegations and said she does not mind getting probed. What? Premier-designate Philippe Couillard promised Quebec complete transparency, so I hope he doesn’t mind being probed either cause it looks like the party is just getting started.

Too Old for JD

War Games. Shall We Play a Game?

War Games. Shall We Play a Game?

Speaking of being probed, the RCMP arrested Stephen Arthuro Solis-Reyes at his home in London, Ont. last week, charging him with one count of unauthorized use of a computer and one count of mischief in relation to data. Nineteen year old Mr. Solis-Reyes is allegedly the person who, using the Heartbleed bug, hacked into the Canadian Revenue Agency (CRA) website and stole private taxpayers’ information, including social insurance numbers. The Toronto Sun reported “It is believed that Solis-Reyes was able to extract private information held by the CRA by exploiting the security vulnerability known as the Heartbleed bug,” said the RCMP’s National Division Integrated Technological Crime Unit in the release issued Wednesday.” Quite a fancy name wouldn’t you say? Well Mr. National Division Integrated Technological Crime Unit, if you’re so smart, how the hell did a 19-year-old bust into the CRA in the first place!! AND, Mr. Solis-Reyes, what were you thinking? You might have to do jail time now. You know what happens to nerdy guys in jail? Take my advice, go watch the “Shawshank Redemption.”

Last Week At a Glance:

Placing the Blame

Last Monday, in an open letter to Le Devoir, Parti Qubecois MNA Bernard Drainville said it was the referendum question and not the PQ’s Charter of Values that led to the parties crushing election defeat. Quit beating that dead horse M. Drainville, you lost, no one cares anymore.

The Short Bus

Here is one that really burns my ass. Stephane Larose, a 47 year old school bus driver was arrested last week for drunk driving… wait for it… as he was pulling away from the school with little kids in his minivan. The arrest happened outside St. Paul elementary school on Isabelle Street in the Hull sector of Gatineau. Larose blew four times over the legal limit. Know why he was driving a minivan and not a bus? His license was suspended for medical reasons. Know what happened to Mr. Larose in 2009? He was convicted for drinking and driving. I do not know who, but someone deserves a kick in the ass here.

Reasons to become a Vegetarian

Maple Leaf Foods is in big trouble for chicken abuse. CBC reported that an employee of the animal rights group Mercy For Animals Canada got a job working at Horizon Poultry in Hanover, Ont., and used a hidden camera to document events. What did they document you ask. Well let me tell you. Dead chicks coming out of a dishwasher, pushing baby chicks into a grinder with a squeegee, and throwing chickens into a mechanical macerator. Oh Sweet Jesus what is a macerator? I am pretty grossed out, granted not grossed out enough to stop eating chicken, but pretty grossed out.

Last Word of the Week:

From the CBC News.
Gas prices expected to rise in Canada this summer”
Let me be the first to say it, “Hey, gas companies, FUCK YOU!”

Happy Easter Everyone! Here is a little something that was sent to me.

Gods last name isn't damn

Church Billboard

To contact Ken, email him at [email protected]

About Ken Gaucher

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