Fear and Loathing South of the 40 : Unarmed and Not Dangerous

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Nothing Stronger Than A Good Hard Stare

Yes this is old news, but I am a bit behind and a guy has to put in his two cents.

As I am sure everyone has already heard three men escaped a prison when a helicopter touched down for five minutes and lifted them out of the Orsainville Detention Centre. Here is the rub. It’s the second time this has happened in Quebec in 15 months. Not sure but maybe someone should start asking some questions, like how the hell can a helicopter just fly into prison? Just saying, maybe this should be addressed. Anyway, here is some advice from Sgt. Gregory Gomez Del Prado. “There’s a potential for danger with any person who’s in prison and detained.” Ok got it. Also the police have said, “Anyone who sees the prisoners should not try and apprehend them.” I think we are good here, thanks. But the absolute best thing I have read about this story is “Guards in the watchtower are unarmed, as are all guards inside the prison walls, meaning there was little they could do but watch as the helicopter whisked the prisoners away.” What!! Unarmed? This is a prison isn’t it? What if the prisoners decide just to climb over the fence, what’s the plan, tackle em, hug em, start a conga line and hope they join in?

Unusual Hobbies

Cases like this pop up every now and then and it blows my mind every time. A man, Julio Cesar Tolentino Munoz, was arrested last Wednesday and charged with three counts of voyeurism. What was he doing? Well let me tell you. He was spying on women using the toilet in Montreal’s West Island stores. EEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!! Here is the worst part. Just put yourself in the poor woman’s place for a second. The need is upon you, you run to the bathroom, get ready to do your business, and there is this asshole peeking under the stall door. It creeps back up and now you are backed up for what a day, maybe two, maybe three, who knows. Shame, shame on you Julio Cesar Tolentino Munoz!!

Ka-Ching

I happened to come across a headline from CBC news that caught my attention. “Remote First Nation offers one-of-a-kind ‘vacation’ for Canadians”. The story is about four youth in Kitchenuhmaykoosib Inninuwug (KI) First Nation in northern Ontario, a reserve north of Thunder Bay, inviting “average Canadians” to spend time in their community. This whole idea seemed awesome to me. The article talks of “building bridges”, “better sense of life on a remote reserve”, and “aboriginal history”, and as I read I became more and more interested. But then I came to the end of the article “the cost for the all-inclusive trip ticket is $2,900 plus tax”. Hell, for that price I can go to the Dominican and live like a king for two weeks, TWICE!! You can damn near go to Australia! Sorry guys, you almost had me, but that’s too steep for this Cowboy.

An Eye for An Eye Makes it Fun

Sometimes you read something and you say to yourself, “Thank god I live in Canada.” A loaded handgun was found in the toy department of a “Target” store in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Ok, so that is crazy right there, but wait it gets better. Earlier that same week “Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America” launched a petition urging Target to ban the possession of firearms in its store. So now we know we have people walking around Target with guns, you still following me? So in retaliation to the petition, the President of a group called “Open Carry Texas”, CJ Grisham, said the gun was probably planted in the store. “I wouldn’t doubt if a gun control extremist planted the gun there to further his agenda of blaming gun owners for deaths of children,” he says. He went on to say, “Whoever did it is a despicable excuse for a human being and should be charged with attempted murder and fried in in a chair.” What the Fuck??

Last Week at a Glance:

More Reasons Not to Go to London Ontario

You know me, I don’t like to go on about things. All I am saying is that the mayor of London, Ontario, Joe Fontana, has been found guilty of forgery, fraud and breach of trust. Yes that is London, Ont.

Best Laid Plans

La Regie Des Alcools gave Montreal Mayor Denis Coderre’s pilot plan to allow a handful of bars to stay open until 6 a.m. the axe. The Liquor Board stated the plan was “contrary to public interest” and “likely to disturb public tranquility”. You got that right, brother. Let’s face it folks, people are already barfing on their shoes at 3 a.m. in the morning, never mind 6 a.m. However, Montreal’s mayor is not giving up. “I think Montreal lost a tremendous opportunity,” says Coderre. I guess we will be hearing more about this one.

Enjoy Retirement!

There was a mass retirement by Montreal firefighters last week which was sparked by a change to the firefighters’ pension plan. Apparently, up to 80 (depends on who is telling the story) firefighters resigned at once. The city said that the public was never in danger, and there are more than 2500 active firefighters on the island of Montreal. Personally, I have nothing against the old guys. Hell, I am an old guy, but if I’m trapped in a burning building I want the firefighter who is there to be young and strong and able to pull my old ass out.

Last Word of the Week:

A BC man, Ron McHaffie, has been ordered to pay 2.6 million dollars by the BC Securities Commission Panel after swindling 30 investors out of $642,960. The scam? He was looking for money to build the “Bigfoot Ski Resort” near Jones Lake between Hope and Chilliwack. The reality, he never filed a prospectus and took off with the loot. People, look at this guy!! If you are stupid enough to give this guy more than two bucks for a cup of coffee, I have some swampland to sell you down in Florida, call me.

Questions, comments, complaints, cash? Ken Gaucher can be reached at [email protected]