Is there anything more Montreal than bagels? Well maybe smoked meat, but bagels are right up there. Last week, the big story was D.A.D’s Bagels being pushed out of its 20 year Sherbrooke West home. Kashmir Singh Randhawa opened the doors of his NDG bagel shop in 1994 and was told a couple of months ago his lease would not be renewed to make way for a Dollarama expansion. “Small businesses are the backbone of the economy and we’re putting them out,” says Randhawa. You gotta admit he has a point. I have nothing against the Dollarama but how much of that dollar store shit do we really need? Truth be told, if you go three blocks in any direction you’ll find another dollar store; they are everywhere. Good bagel shops, not so much, so DAD’s, we will miss you.
Speaking of Montreal businesses there is a new cafe that has opened in the city named Cafe des Chats. You guesses it, the cafe is home to eight cats. That’s the gimmick, the niche. You get to have a coffee and play with cats at the same time. Some of you out there are shaking your heads and saying “That is ridiculous,” but there are a lot of cat people out there, trust me. Nadine Spencer, half owner of the cafe, says this is the first of its kind in North America. Apparently last Sunday the cafe was packed, so I guess drinking coffee with cats is catching on. Michelle Lau made the trip from Toronto for the opening weekend (Really? she came from Toronto to have a coffee and pet a cat? It raises so many questions in my head, but I guess to each their own right?) How often do you think they hear “Oops, had one too many coffees, which way to the litter box?” (if you want to check it out, it opened at 3435 St. Denis)
Oh my God this story is sweet. A 65-year-old Quebec City Lawyer, Bernard Corbeil, is on trial for assault after making a citizen arrest. In Febuaury of 2013, a security camera shows Corbeil come bursting out of his house, throw a towel over his neighbours head, force her to the ground, pin her there with his knee while he hogties her with zip ties. Why did this all take place, you ask? His side, she was stealing the cat food he left outside his door. Her side, she was removing it because it made her cats sick. My side, have you people lost your mother humpin’ minds? Over cat food! Instead of going to court, you people should just drive down to Montreal and have a coffee at Cafe des Chats, I am sure you could work it all out.
Best headline of the week last week “Pro Sports Cheerleaders: Are some modern day slaves?” The article talks about how pro football cheerleaders are being exploited by being paid less than minimum wage, or in some cases nothing at all. There is presently a lawsuit against the Buffalo Bills by five former members of their cheerleading troupe. The lawsuit alleges hundreds of hours of unpaid hours as well as degrading treatment such as being forced to sit on mens laps and a “jiggle test” to test their weight. Now I will definitely agree that a “jiggle test” sounds pretty degrading, but let me explain to you why this is nothing at all like modern day slavery. You don’t have to do this!! Hello, free country, if you don’t like the job, leave, they ain’t even paying you!
Last Week at a Glance:
McGill University professors have raised a fish that can breath air and walk on land. I swear to Jesus, I am not making this up. The fish is called a “Polypterus.” They have created this because they wanted to “see how our ancestors evolved.” Ok now you have done it. So what is next? Want to bring back a T-Rex, just to see what it ate? Want to make a pig that can shoot guns and chew gum? What? Have you guys not watched “Planet of the Apes??”
Better on the Inside
A number of advocate groups say they fear inmates in federal prisons are losing access to libraries and books due to funding cuts and overcrowding. CBC news reported “Advocates say reading material is vital for people living behind prison walls. There’s little to do to pass the time.”
Yup that’s because they are in prison, not college. Look, I don’t want to sound too cynical, but the same day I read another article that said an inmate at the Bordeaux Prison, Quebec has a photo of himself on Facebook holding a $250 bottle of cognac and smoking cigars. What’s a guy to think?
No noise, please, we’re in Westmount
Westmount residents are fed up with the noise being created by the construction of the MUHC Superhospital. It seems the construction company, SNC Lavalin, has offered some residents noise cancelling earphones. Westmount City Councillors will be meeting with the company to look for better solutions to the noise problem. Yes, we are talking about Westmount, multi-million dollar home Westmount, I know, I know, my heart is breaking for them too. Gimme a break.
Last Word of the Week:
According to Le Journal, security has been beefed up at City Hall. At least six police officers have been assigned to the main hall when the Executive Committee meet. Ummm, guys? I think the horse is already out of the barn.
Also, Farewell Joan Rivers, she was one of the great ones. “Can we talk?”
Let Ken know which cat meme you think is cutest at firstname.lastname@example.org