Men at Work
The story of the week last week had to be the police officer caught with the woman on his lap. For those of you just catching up let me give you the skinny. Last week, a young woman snapped a photo of a Montreal police officer with a blonde woman on his lap in a police cruiser while on duty. The 19-year-old woman said the couple were “moving up and down.” Now, a spokesman for the police, Ian Lafrenière, said the officer will be disciplined for “completely inappropriate behaviour.” Here is where is gets good. “It’s a question of space,” Lafrenière said. “It’s impossible to push the front seat back because of the barrier behind it, and the woman is between him and the steering wheel.” So that is the problem here people: not having a woman on your lap and giving her a complete cavity search with your night stick, but the space. So you say to yourself, poor guy should have just jumped in the back seat right? Well he couldn’t because there was another officer back there with another girl!!!
Robbing the Cradle
Yes it is always fun to make fun of someone caught with their pants down but we also gotta give the police their due. Last week a young woman, Valerie Poulin, pulled the old “dress up like a nurse and steal a baby” trick in a hospital in Trois-Riviere, Quebec. Dressed like a nurse she walked onto the maternity ward, took a newborn baby, and left the hospital. Police issued an “Amber Alert”, and three hours later the baby was back with her parents, safe and sound. It is great to see the system work, and kudos to the Police and to the four young people who tipped off the police to the whereabouts of Poulin. Poulin has since been charged with kidnapping and abduction.
I have already admitted to being a nerd, so don’t read this and say “PFFFt what a nerd” cause this is THE SHIT! ICarus Interstellar, a non-profit foundation started in Alaska, has begun work on a Worldship with the intent of sending it into space in 2100. What is a Worldship you ask, well let me tell you. It’s a fully self-sustaining spacecraft that has a complex ecosystem,simulated gravity, and a propulsion mechanism to allow it to orient and move through space. That my good people is what a Worldship is. In other words a spaceship that will allow 50 to 500 people live in space permanently. In a written statement ICarus said that their mission was “to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”
Seriously, Don’t Go to London, Ontario
For those of you that have been following, a couple of weeks ago I wrote about a white supremacist shindig down in London Ont. Then there was a problem with a pot supplier in London Ont. Last week a London Ont. couple was charged with forcible confinement after a 10-year-old boy was found locked in a house. Following an anonymous tip to Children’s Aid, the police found the boy locked in a bedroom. The police described the room as “filthy” and “squalid”. They believe the boy had been locked in the room over 18 months. The boy, who police say was underweight and suffering from malnutrition, was taken to hospital but has since been released and is in the care of Children’s Services. What the hell is wrong with people? Who does something like that? I just don’t know. What I do know is that I’m sure there’s lots and lots of nice people in Londonm Ontario, but when I make a list of places I want to go on my next vacation, guess what’s not going to be on the list. Just saying.
Last Week at a Glance:
The Parti Quebecois was appalled last week when Liberal MNA Julie Boulet flipped them the bird. “It is unacceptable,” said PQ house leader Agnès Maltais. The incident happened when PQ MNA Stéphane Bergeron, the party’s ethics critic, tried to raise the issue of Boulet’s appearance May 15 before the Charbonneau Commission on corruption. Boulet later apologized. Sweet Jesus, what are you guys, in grade four?
Turns out the STM (Société de transport de Montréal) is full of shit. STM chair Marvin Rotrand has previously said the STM’s legal department had provided documents saying their employees did not have to speak English to their clients, namely the people who ride the metro. Last week the Montreal Gazette obtained an affidavit that says the STM never even sought a legal opinion on the use of English by transit employees. Is there anyone surprised here? Still I wouldn’t push your luck too far. You speak English to those ticket takers and they will kick your ass!
CJAD ran a story last week about a mother in the Laurentians who has been waiting 4 years for seven dollar a day daycare. Celeste Hill says she’s been paying $1000 a month, and working two jobs, to send her 4 year-old and 20-month-old to private daycare. “I work an office job during the week and at Tim Hortons on the weekend. It’s a hard life and people’s kids shouldn’t have to go through that. My kids don’t see me enough and it’s hard for everyone,” she said. Ok I’ll say it cause we are all thinking it. Hey Celeste, move! WTF, do the math. If you lived somewhere that had $7 daycare you could have worked one job, payed off your car, and seen your kids. It really ain’t rocket science.
Last Word of the Week:
Early last week I started to write a piece about a Virginia teen who was forced to leave her prom by fathers who were chaperoning the event because her dress was too short. I just wanted to poke fun at it — hey it is Virginia, right. But then later in the week I saw a story by CBC about a girl at Beaconsfield High School (in the West Island) who was sent home for having “too-short” shorts. After the second article about young women showing off her legs I thought to myself, WHO GIVES A SHIT! With what is going on in the Ukraine, protests in India about rape, people starving to death in Syria, this is what we have to call news here in Montreal? The length of young ladies’ shorts? Ayee, give me strength. I am not going to preach but lets keep things in perspective my friends and neighbors.
Questions, comments, complaints? Ken Gaucher can be reached at email@example.com