Fear and Loathing South of the 40 : Racism, Robots, and Royalty

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Getting Away With It

LA Clippers. AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez

LA Clippers. AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez

You remember Donald Sterling don’t you? Racist comments, young girlfriend, owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, ya ya, that Donald Sterling. Well, he has come out and said #1, he ain’t selling the team, and #2 he ain’t paying the $2.5 million dollar fine imposed by the league. The big question here is why would he? Because of a couple of empty threats? Lets see, the team turned their jerseys around for one game, whoooooo, that must have scared the bejesus out of him. I didn’t see anyone not show up for work though; they do have big fat cat paychecks to collect. Fan participation did not waiver for even one game, so the fans don’t care. The owners were going to get together and hoist his old ass right out on the street, but that didn’t happen, and I have a sneaky suspicion there might be other old white bigot team owners also, but that is just me thinking out loud. Nope, you know what happened to Mr. Sterling for his racist remarks? Nothing at all. And you know what is going to happen to Mr. Sterling for his racist remarks? Nothing at all. I have already said, it might be disgusting, but there is no law against being a racist in the States and there are plenty of them. And in a month from now we will all forget this ever happened. I hope I am wrong. But…

A Long Way from the Jetsons

Last week at the United Nations meeting in Geneva guess what was on the agenda? (you will never guess) Killer Robots. Yes I said KILLER ROBOTS! Experts debated if autonomous machines, able to identify and kill targets without human input are a “threat to humanity.” Let me answer that one for you. YES, yes they are. Have they not seen The Terminator or the Matrix? Apparently, fully autonomous weapons have not yet been developed but technological advances are bringing them closer to existing. Well I am not sure I am buying that one. According to Christof Heyns (get ready for this title) – the UN special rapporteur on extrajudicial, summary or arbitrary executions for the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights (told you), said that “robots should not have the power of life and death over human beings.” Amen Christof, Amen, and while you are at it, watch Bladerunner.

Dance Like Nobody’s Watching Except in Toronto

 

A 65 year old, west-end Toronto crossing guard has been suspended for dancing. Kathleen Byers has been crossing kids in her neighborhood for 10 years and sometimes for fun she dances. However, she has been suspended for this severe obstruction of the law! She had been dancing for about 4 years when the Toronto police asked her to quit because it was a distraction (was she dirty dancing? I don’t get it). Due to her suspension she has quit her job as a crossing guard. And what does Byers have to say about the whole incident? “I just want to go be with the kids and cross them and have a good day.” Good on you Kathleen Byers, and Boo on you Toronto cops. Maybe if we all did a little more dancing the world would be a better place.

Last Week at a Glance:

Senate Q and A for Q

In one of the biggest cases of the pot calling the kettle black in Canadian history, the Senate has said CBC whitewashed a submission on the spending and salaries of some of its most notable journalists (is this the same Mike Duffy Senate we are talking about here?). In retaliation CBC spokesperson France Belisle replied “individual salaries are protected under the Privacy Act.” But if Canadians are footing the bill for these people, shouldn’t we be able to know what we are paying them? I am scratching my head on this one.

Live like a Prince

motel
So Prince Charles and Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall will be on the royal tour this week. They will be giving speeches and touring various sites, all the while being praised for the wonderful work they do for our humble Canadian charities. The theme for this tour is “Canada’s past and looking ahead to the future.” Schreech!!! Let’s stop the old gravy train right here. What exactly are they doing for charity? I can tell you that this wonderful tour is costing Canadians about $720,000 bucks as well as $150,000 for an unspecified “legacy gift.” What the fuck is a legacy gift? If someone comes to your house, stays for free, eats your food, AND takes your stuff, they are called a freeloader. Here’s an idea. Why don’t the royal couple stay at the Super 8 like everyone else and we can give all that money to charity. Then we are doing something. Good grief.

Last Word of the Week:

Report Card F- for Class

Best School Letter EVER!!! At Prior Lake High school in Savage, Minn. a letter was send home warning parents their daughters would be subject to “mandatory vagina inspections.” District spokeswoman Kristi Mussman said the prank is in “extremely poor taste” and the school board is very “disappointed, however she will be taking the inspection herself” (ok I made that last part up). Principal Dave Lund also sent a note to parents, assuring school officials “are aware of this letter and we are addressing (or Undressing!, too much?) the issue internally.”

letter of vaginal inspection

letter of vaginal inspection

Ken Gaucher can be reached at ken@montrealrampage.com.

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