Fear and Loathing South of the 40: Trouble in the Boroughs

Work is long Work is long

Don’t Mess with the Outremont Sukkot

It isn’t often that I backtrack to get a story but I ran out of room last week, which was probably a good thing because there is now a conclusion to the story. A couple of weeks ago the borough of Outremont voted to change a by-law that would decide how long residents would be allowed to have a Sukkah on their property. Let me explain a couple of things: first, a Sukkah is a kind of hut that people of the Jewish faith construct during Sukkot. Second, there is already a by-law in Outremont stating the structure may stand for 15 days. The Outremont Urbanism department wanted to change the time a Sukkah could stand from 15 to 7 days. But then things got really funky when City Councillor, Celine Forget, proposed three days. That was when the shit hit the fan. There were more complaints at the December Council meeting than ‘visiting’ day at Elmer’s Home For the Elderly. Once all was said and done, Outremont Mayor, Marie Cinq-Mars, said there would be no changes to the by-law. Looks like the good guys won and the sukkahs, um I mean suckers, lost this one. BTW: I wonder, how long do people at the Outremont Urbanism department keep their Christmas lights up? Just wondering.

Plateau Snowed In Until Spring?

dirty snow. Photo Rachel Levine

dirty snow. Plateau. Photo Rachel Levine

Speaking of trouble in the boroughs, the borough of Plateau-Mont-Royal seems to be having trouble with snow removal. Why, you ask? Okay – are you sitting down? Mayor Luc Ferrandez announced the borough has run out of money. Honest to God, that is the excuse. People, it’s only January, we’re only halfway through the winter! What is the Plateau going to look like mid-February? Plateau residents, you better buy some of those ice clamps you put on your shoes. Mayor Ferrandez has cited budget cuts as the reason for the shortfall. Perhaps the mayor thought it wouldn’t snow in the Plateau this year?

The Terror of Terrasse-Vaudreuil

terrase vaudreil website hacked

terrase vaudreil website hacked

The headline read – “Website for small Ile-Perrot town hacked; Islamic extremist group claim responsibility”. So I read the story, then I went back and started all over because either this is a hoax or we have just witnessed an act by the stupidest Islamic extremist group in history. The town of Terrasse-Vaudreuil, a town of approx. 2000, just west of Montreal, claims that their municipal website was hacked last Thursday. When you punched in the website, what you got was “We are Muslims, in Allah we trust, for Allah we work, screw you Charlie Hebdo”. Then it was signed “hacked by MECA, middle east cyber army”. First of all I highly doubt that a Muslim Extremist would use the phrase “screw you.” It just doesn’t instill extreme terror. Plus, any extremist group worth their salt isn’t going to claim responsibility for this one; they would be ducking and rolling their eyes. “Ummm nope, nope, that wasn’t us.” Let’s face it, this has “bored 17-year-old in his basement” written all over it.

Last Week at a Glance:

Can’t stop the PKP train

Soult Train Gif via holysoul.tumblr.com

Soul Train Gif. via holysoul.tumblr.com

Jean-Francois Lisee, one of the major contenders in the race to become the big kahuna of the Parti Quebecois, has backed out of the race stating “No one has a chance against Pierre Karl Peladeau.” Man, that PKP trains just keeps chugging on down the tracks.

Beaconsfield Relocation

There was a problem in the city of Beaconsfield, in the West Island of Montreal, that involved a children’s snow fort. Yann Lefebvre, father of four, helped his kids build a snow fort, it was too close to the road and the city said it could be a problem. Now the snow fort has been moved, with the help of neighbours, two city councillors and the Mayor, and everyone is happy! Holy shit and thank the lord, I’ve heard way too much about this story in the last week. It’s a snow fort, let’s move on.

Drainville better get on the PKP train

soul train gif

soul train gif

Bernard Drainville, Parti Quebecois hopeful, slammed the Saudi Arabian government last week, calling their policies barbaric and asking, “Why isn’t Quebec taking a lead on imposing sanctions on Saudi Arabia?” The problem here is that only about 8 people in the world care about what Bernard Drainville thinks (and 5 of them are his family). Has he not heard about the PKP train?

The Last Word of the Week:

Just so absolutely everyone on the planet knows, the movie “The Interview” is now on Netflix. Personally I think the whole Kim Jong-un thing is the best promotional gimmick in the history of gimmicks. Because of that, I wouldn’t watch this movie if Seth Rogan himself knocked on my door and offered me a million bucks to watch it. Okay, I’m lying, but you get the idea.

Shout out to Ken. He likes the abuse. [email protected]

About Ken Gaucher

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