For Virgin Eyes Only: Your Guide to The Rocky Horror Picture Show

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Greetings Virgin. You’re about to have one of the most arousing(???) nights of your life — and as a Virgin, there may not have been many. Since 1975, Virgins just like you have been attending a screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show accompanied a live-cast that ensures that as creator Richard O’Brien says, “It’s a guaranteed party.” The film is campy, crazy, and cultish. Actors (one hopes) dress up like the characters. Audience members shout things at the screen. Stuff flies through the air. Chances are, at some point, you or someone else will be brought in front of the rest of the audience to be humiliated in a Virgin ritual. You only get to be a Virgin once, so you might as well stick your hand up and go for it.

Here are a few pointers to make the most of your night.

Dress Like You Mean It

Come dressed like you mean it. Stockings? Stupid heels? Garters? Leather? Lace? A suit? A tie? Put it all in a gender blender and slap it on your bod. Or not. If you want to dress like a character, this site has you covered.

Bring a few Props

Bring a few useful props: rice (to throw at the wedding), a newspaper (to cover your head when the rainstorm happens), toast (for the toast at dinner). There are many others (party hats, noisemakers, rubber gloves, a flashlight, toilet paper), and you can check here for some more suggestions and when they get used. Don’t throw any of this stuff at the actors. You throw it on your friends or the people in front of you.

Learn the Moves

You better be ready to do the time warp.
1. It’s just a JUMP TO THE LEFT (hands in the air, Virgins)
2. and A STEP TO THE RIGHT
3. Put your hand on your hips
4. Bring your knees in tight
5. (very important) but it’s the PELVIC THRUST that really drives you in-sa-a…
6. (SWIVEL YOUR HIPS) …a-ane.
7. “Let’s do the Time warp again.”

Incidentally, Mick Jagger wanted the roll of Frank-n-Furter, but Tim Curry got it. Guess he’s got the moves like Jagger and then some.

Call-Outs

Call-outs. People shout things out during this film. A lot. It may seem like some people have this down to a science, but at least part of the time they’re improvising. They’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show enough, that they know when a particular line is coming and how to make it much funnier. This is an evolving process and the call-outs change. Montreal only shows Rocky Horror around halloween, so it doesn’t seem like many people have the script memorized, and as a result there are fewer call outs. Some film places will publish an audience talk back script so everyone knows what to say and when. Here are some places you can find call-outs: HERE, HERE, with images HERE, and HERE. I think that’s enough.

Nonetheless, there are a few traditional callouts that even a virgin can figure out.

When you hear the name “Brad“, people yell out “Asshole.” Why? Because he is one. You’ll see why.

Similarly, “Janet” gets called “Slut.” They’ve been slut-shaming poor Janet at Rocky Horror since 1975. Don’t worry. Someone in the audience will probably have a smart thing to say about the slut-shaming.

When you see the criminologist, people will yell things like “Where’s your fucking neck?” or “Like your neck.” The guy has no neck.

Call outs often happen by scene. Here are a few…

Wedding
we really did it. HIT HIM! HIT HIM BACK! ASSHOLE FIGHT!

Why everyone knows that Betty’s a wonderful little cook. AND A GREAT FUCK!
Yes! WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A BILLBOARD IN THE MIDDLE OF A CEMETERY?

Damnit Janet
one thing to say and it’s DAMNIT JANET, LET’S TO SCREW

Criminologist
dark storm clouds DESCRIBE YOUR BALLS

Stuck Car/Rainstorm/Meeting Frank-N-Furter

What’s the matter Brad darling? THERE’S CUM ON THE WINDSHIELD!

What was that bang? IT WAS A GANG BANG!

Maybe they have a telephone I could use. CASTLES DON’T HAVE PHONES ASSHOLE.

I’m cold and wet and I’m just plain scared! THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT

Janet: [“What do you say when Brad fucks you?”] Thank you.

Brad: [What do you say when Janet fucks you?”] Thank you
very much.

The Laboratory

Frank: WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Magenta!
Frank: WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR DRUGS? Columbia!

Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me
I want more. Less!
more. Less!
more. Less!
more. Less!
and rub you down Up!
down. Up!
down. Up!
down. Up!

Rocky Horror Picture show is at the Imperial Theatre (1430 Bleury) as the Rocky Horror Ball on October 29-31 with showings at 8 and 11 p.m. Tickets HERE. $17/$19.95.