Goodbye Carrie Fisher and Thank You For Everything

Tweet

Carrie Fisher is gone.

The sun let go of her incredible light and the stars welcomed her to be a part of their sky.

Gone.

Carrie Fisher is gone.

Writing these words seems to make no sense at all. I guess some people have too bright of a light to be ever thought of as absent from this world. It seems that Carrie Fisher was one of those. She just had too much life for her to be without life.

Some of us knew her as princess Leia, some others as the incredible one woman showgirl touring with “wishful drinking”, some others as Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher’s daughter, some other just knew her as a friend, sister, or relative. All of us definitely heard her name and seen her face more than once in our lifetime. And more often than not, as the pretty girl on tv kicking ass and leading the rebellion to finally get rid of Darth Vader.

Yes, for most she was a princess.

But she was also a warrior, a defender for humans with bipolar disorder, a script doctor (who saved so many scripts including the first Star Wars with a few simple but efficient corrections), a brilliant author (Postcards from the Edge being may be her book best remembered), a hidden singer (she sang brilliantly with her mother Debbie Reynolds on Oprah once), and a master of words that she seemed never to lack wherever the situation. Mostly she was known as Princess Leia, the sharp witty princess of a galaxy far far away.

That is who she was, who she will me remembered as, and of course many things more to her family and friends.

I strongly felt today that it was time for me to write a goodbye and sort of a homage to such an incredible human being. And I felt she deserved a well written goodbye.

I feel know in front of the page that this goodbye should include wise words, wit, and a lot lot lot of humor if it was even to start to match the greatness of such a great woman. Unfortunately, I do not have the skills, the mind, or the heart to be able to reach such a level of greatness.

And since I lack this Carrie talent, my simple non-witty, non-funny-enough words will have to do to honor someone that I appreciate.

The task is already enormous when it comes to describing a legend, but when the legend was actually the legend of all legends, the princess of all geeks, the warrior for all young women, the writer that so many people loved, the task becomes almost impossible. I know my human limits, I know I am not up to the task, but on the other hand, I know my heart and I just have to do this! After all, I was always someone who wrote about things that touched me, or human beings who talked silently to my soul…Why do you think I ever took the virtual pen in the first place?

I did because I am a strong believer in Kindness and great souls, in artists and sharing light and because I believe strongly that a light can be born from a kind act, especially if that kind act comes from someone with a rare, rare soul.

For me Carrie Fisher was that one-of-a-kind, once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be-seen-again talent.

A speaker for the ones who could not speak, a shut up(er) (I know it’s not a word but still she did shut them up) u shut up(er) of shamers (body shamers, bright shamers, women shamers and so on), and a God-sent witty, defiant, classy woman who was too bright for her own good (or maybe just too bright for Hollywood and the rest of this stupid, unfair, miserable world).

She was (I know for sure) too something for this life, but that is why she was admired, followed, believed in, and most importantly why she will never be forgotten.

My only regret, the one of losing such a precious little light in the world will always be to never have had the chance of meeting her at a fan comic con or for an interview. I do not know, nor am I related to her or any member of her family, but I trust myself to know a great heart when I see one shining in my surroundings, whether it’s on tv or in real life. And I do know for certain that she was exceptional, kind, and incredibly bright.

I know with certainty that she was absolutely unique and had a resilience that guided her path through hell and back. I just know she had a pure soul and everyone who has paid or will pay attention to her words in the future (in interviews on the net or other ways words live on) will come to the same conclusion, I am sure.

So Miss Fisher this is for you:

this is for your light gone too soon,
this is for your fans,
a little bit for myself,
and if they ever read this: for your family and friends.

I do not pretend being the best to acknowledge your many talents, I do not pretend to have any right in writing who you were, but I am doing it because I am touched by the amazing woman you were. And I guess I am as entitled as anyone else to let the world know that my heart was a little — what would be that word? — torn, I guess.

So torn it will be. Torn, yes.

I felt a tremor in the force in my insides when I went to bed on the 25th and read that you were no longer with us. I felt something slightly missing close to the heart, and I was left in a state of — I do not know the words for the things I felt in that moment. My English speaking capacity stops right here on the footsteps of your greatness, dear Carrie Fisher.

Princess Leia guided my childhood, forged my teenhood and made me realise through your beautiful eyes that fighting back and kicking ass was also an option for young women all around. Buffy did the rest of the teaching in that area, but I know without Princess Leia, there would never have been any Buffy characters. So, thank you for portraying Princess Leia so well that the world wanted more of the cool chicks.

I know that your openness about a mental health disorder made thousands of lives easier. Where shame existed, understanding and compassion took the lead.

With your novels, you made it ok for poeple to be lost, and you allowed them to make mistakes, to own said mistakes, and to go back on track afterwards.

You taught the world that compassion is key, kindness is its center, and hate is born in intolerance.

You gifted the world with an unconditionnal love for words, and you even made new ones that I think should became part of the official language spectrum, words like “surthrive” for example.

You told us that wanting fame is like wanting a gift that will soon be destroyed, or wanting a light that cannot help but fade. Fame is obscurity waiting to happen, so why seek it? Happiness for you lay in the simpler things.

You taught us that it was ok to fall flat on our asses, and it was also ok to be back on the horse afterwards.

And the most important of all:

You taught us that if we did not find humor in pretty much everything in life then we would not be able to make it gracefully through time.

Yes, those are some of the lessons you made us learn through the years, and we learned them the easy way: in the graceful, yet loud laughter, coming right out of your gigantic heart!

So Carrie Fisher I gotta say:

Thank you for your wit and your charming intelligence. I will always laugh hard remembering you because I do not know a better way to honor your presence on earth. What could be a better homage than laughting at your wise witty words? None, I am sure.

For all your courage and talent, all the sharing and giving, all the love to your fans, all the amazing writing, I am eternally grateful.

You made it so hard to say goodbye. I still won’t really let go, you know? (I will hold you close in my heart).

I know you are probably laughing somewhere at me for the line that is coming but I have to write this anyway:

Princess Leia has joined the stars in a galaxy far, far away at the end of a long fighting day. At the same time, on a December day, Carrie Fisher landed on a cloud in the big upstairs. On this cloud she finally felt comfortable enough to let go of everything she was burdened with on earth. Finally both she and the Princess were free of what was hurting their hearts.

Two days after, you were joined by your mother and legend of the silver screen Debbie Reynolds. Sadly she could not leave you alone on that big cloud. Some hearts cannot actually beat if the other is not near enough to hold hands.

Somewhere over a rainbow I know you are both laughing,

singing,

and maybe even arguing, for the sake of a good mother daughter relationship.

Somewhere up there, high up on a white or blue cloud.

But please, sweet Carrie, before going away for good to this everafter and taking Leia with you, could you leave a small bit of your heart in a star somewhere?

And then, could you make it shine very hard and bright?

That way all of us poor human beings, left alone without the three of you (You you, Leia You and ” Your mother Debbie”), we will easily find that star and send a few hellos from our great downstairs. Just for our sakes, please do, just so we can wave when we miss you all a little bit too much.

Dear Carrie Fisher,
I thank you for being you,
You helped a lot of us being a little more ourselves.

Goodbye Princess,
I love you to Alderaan and Back.

Goodbye bright light. Thanks for the fairy dust. You will always be missed. Always.

Jennifer G.