Swinging All Over This Town

Fear and Loathing South of the 40

Work is Long Work is Long When You're Wearing a Thong

Well if you missed it, last Friday was Valentine’s Day, the hokiest holiday of them all. If it is such a great holiday why do I have to work? An Angus Reid poll shows that 73 percent of men and 50 percent of women would rather make love than get gifts for Valentine’s Day — just not with the partner they are currently with (j/k!). Seriously though, the survey showed that 61 percent of Canadians would rather make love than receive flowers or chocolates. Sexologist Genevieve Parent says that couples do not put enough priority on “sexuality” in their relationships. Edith Arsenault, vice-president of Landco Import which owns eight erotic shops in Montreal says that for Valentines Day, they sell more “soft products” such as pink handcuffs and massage oils, while selling fewer whips and Chinese balls. Just one question, what are Chinese balls? Someone help me out here.

Cute Handcuffs by translucide. Photo used under a Creative Commons non-commercial, attribution, no derivative license.

Cute Handcuffs by translucide. Photo used under a Creative Commons non-commercial, attribution, no derivative license.

The Charbonneau Commission is back in full swing. Last Monday it heard testimony from Michel Comeau, an investigator with the corruption inquiry. As an example of corruption among the unions, he cited the Peribonka power plant built in the Saguenay from 2006 to 2008. A German company, Bauer, was in charge of the 1.3 billion dollar project; however they were routinely harassed and intimidated to the point that many employees of the company returned home. Bauer eventually agreed to pay QFL (Quebec Federation of Labor) members to observe each German employee on the site. Let me lay this out for you. This means that for two years men were paid 82 to 92 grand a year to sit around with their thumbs up their asses watching Germans work. WTF?! Comeau went on to say Hydro-Quebec called this “risk management” on its books.

20 Men to Dig a Hole. Photo from Hello Hong Kong Bronwyn Has Landed

20 Men to Dig a Hole. Photo from Hello Hong Kong Bronwyn Has Landed

Here is one you don’t hear every day. CBC ran a very odd story last week about a transgender woman, Avery Edison, who was being held in a men’s jail after being detained at Toronto’s Pearson International Airport. Seems Edison is a citizen of the UK who stayed in Canada past the limit of her student visa. When she came to Toronto last week to see her partner and speak to lawyers about the visa infraction, she was stopped and taken to Maplehurst Correctional Complex, a facility for men. Authorities did acknowledge that there was a “possibility of violence” in the men’s facility. Are you kidding me??? Have you seen Edison? You might as well have hung a sign around her neck that read “come and get it!”

Free Avery Edison Event

Free Avery Edison Event on Facebook


Thank God, Tuesday night Edison was transferred to Vanier’s Centre for Women. In all fairness to the Airport Authorities, Canadian law states “where a person is detained or imprisoned depends on his or her genitals.” TMI!

Sochi Report

The Canadian Luge Team believe that they were robbed by the Russian track officials. Canadian luge coach Wolfgang Staudinger accuses that the temperature of the course was raised, thereby slowing down the track. Last Friday morning Gilbert Felli, the Olympic Games executive director, challenged Canada to make a complaint or let it go “unless you have proof.” Canada will not be making an official complaint as they do not want to look like sore lugers.

Other sliding news from Sochi. A maintenance worker was hit by a bobsled last Thursday at the Sanki Sliding Center. The unidentified worker suffered two broken legs and was airlifted to a hospital where he underwent surgery. Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach told the Associated Press that they “still do not know why he was in this zone.” Here’s an idea guys. If you have a guy working on the track, why don’t you put another guy a bit further up the track as a lookout? “Hey Vlad, bobsled coming!”and they can haul ass off the track. Problem solved. Sheesh!

At a glance:

Men’s pole dancing on the upswing in Montreal. Apparently studios across our fair city are opening their classes to a small but growing number of male clientele. Pole Fitness Montreal, Studio 409 and Milan Pole Dance Studio, have all opened their classes to men who want to learn pole dancing. Yes, you read correctly, men who want to learn pole dancing. Sorry, guys, I really am, but nobody wants to see you pole dancing, unless it’s to laugh at you. It is not nice but it is the truth. Who knew there were so many places to learn pole dancing?

gregoris garcia performing reuters

Venezeuelan Pole Dancer Gregoris Garcia performing reuters

According to a report on CJAD, for the first time ever, the Quebec College of Physicians have been asked to permanently bar a doctor from practicing medicine by…  himself. Doctor Michel Carrier, a Saint-Jerome family doctor, has admitted that all complaints against him, which include having sexual contact and wrongful use of prescription drugs are all true. He blames his behavior on health problems. What exactly are the problems folk? Pervertitis? Is his Shithead inflamed? This guy just admitted to using his trusted position in a community to have sexual contact with patients, for Christ sake. Why are we not reading that he’s in jail?

The last word of the week: Last week we lost two big names in the entertainment industry, Shirley Temple Black, the biggest child star of them all and Ralph Waite who played John Walton Sr. on the TV series The Waltons. Quick trivia for you — Temple and Bill “Bojangles” Robinson were the first interracial couple to dance onscreen in the movie ‘The Little Colonel’. Both Temple and Waite died at 85 years old. Looks like the Good Ship Lollipop has sailed, good night John Boy.

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About Ken Gaucher

Email Ken Gaucher at ken@montrealrampage.com More Posts