Fear and Loathing South of the 40

Work is Long When You're Wearing a Thong

The Canadian Institute for Identities and Migration has announced that from January to September 2013 a total of 28,439 people moved from the province of Quebec. This is the highest number for that period since 2000. The rise in departures does correspond with the election of the Parti Quebecois, but the institute’s executive vice-president Jack Jedwab says that there is no evidence the political situation is the contributing factor. Two words for you Jack, Bull Shit (ok its one word but I really mean it). Bet you dollars to doughnuts Jack doesn’t live dans la Belle Province. Hey, I am not judging here. People can stay or they can go. It is a personal decision. But let’s call a donkey a donkey — we have all seen this before. The statistics are saying 2 out of 3 ex-Quebecers are moving to Ontario, for Christ sakes. At least go to Colorado; they just legalized weed there!

mile high city Denver

A piece in the National Post last week announced that as Bill 52 inches closer to becoming law. Quebec could become a destination for euthanasia tourists from other provinces. For those of you who are not familiar with Bill 52, it is a bill that would legalize doctor assisted suicide in the province of Quebec. My question is “Euthanasia Tourist”? Come on! Repeat business must be a bitch.

Last Tuesday over 200 hours of hearings surrounding Bill 60 are set to begin in the National Assembly. For those of you who live under a rock (if you do not live in Quebec you are excused) Bill 60 is Quebec’s Secular Charter that pretty much outlaws anything non-Quebecois. In the past week two more groups have spoken out against the Parti Quebecois’s Charter. Quebec’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Community (LGBT) and the English Montreal School Board (EMSB). Education Minister Marie Malavoy said that once the proposed legislation is passed, “Everyone will have to accept it.”  I say, “or what?”  Will there be hijab and kippah police ready to drag us off to Quebecois training camps? Will we have to stay in for recess? What — what is the punishment? I need to know the punishment before I can make up my mind on this matter. If it is only a ten dollar fine, hell, I will put my Kippah over my Hijab and strut my ass right down the middle of St-Laurent Blvd.

Quebec Five Proposals: http://www.nosvaleurs.gouv.qc.ca/en#propositions

A Calagary woman named Jen Olson will be joining a team of athletes from North America at the 2014 Sochi Olympics to introduce the world to the sport of Ice Climbing. It is not yet an Olympic sport; they are calling it a Cultural Event. It is their chance to show the world how exciting it is so it can be included in future Winter Olympics as a competition. I am an open minded guy so I thought I would check it out. Let me tell you, it is right up there with Olympic Water Freezing and Winter Grass Growing. I am sure you have to be in excellent shape, so a definite tip of the hat, but snowboarding it’s not. Here’s an idea: ‘Full Contact Ice Climbing’ and the competitors get Indiana Jones whips! Now we got something.

Last week at a glance.

The Flu! Every single day last week there was at least one story in the news about the flu. My friends THE FLU IS NOT NEWS! It comes every year. That’s like saying, “Holy shit, there is going to be Christmas this year?” Canada’s first case of the H5N1 bird flu, ok that was news.

There were more flight delays early last week due to winter weather. Montreal Trudeau Airport experienced major delays however it was nothing compared with Toronto’s Pearson  Airport where on Tuesday some 600 flights were cancelled. At Canada’s largest airport some passengers were left waiting for days. I admit that sucks, but hey, passengers, you just came back from a nice trip somewhere for the holidays. So you were inconvenienced a bit. The rest of us stayed here in record breaking cold, freezing our balls off! I can’t muster up a lot of sympathy.

Here is the last word of the week. This was sent to me last week by a reader. Click HERE. 

I have looked and looked and it looks to be the real deal. If it isn’t, I am sorry, but how could I not bring this up. Very first sentence of the interview is, “He says he loves having two penises.” Know what? There is so much to say here that I do not know where to begin. There is no way I can do this story justice so I will let you do your own schtick. Have a ball (couldn’t help it).