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Say Anything

Before we get to the big debate, let me give you a quick rundown of last week in Quebec politics:

Liberal leader Philippe Couillard comes clean. He releases his, as well as his spouse’s, tax returns and asset declarations. He challenges the other party leaders to do the same. Marois tell him to stick it where the sun don’t shine but coughs up a bit of tax info right before the debate.

CAQ leader Francois Legault refers to the Liberal Party’s financial record as “Shit,” which I didn’t know was a political term, but hey, when you’re right, you’re right.

Voter Suppression! Several English students had trouble registering to vote in a handful of ridings. They were told they had to “prove their intention to stay in Quebec.” Many were asked to provide a Quebec driver’s license, health card, or income tax return. Liberal leader Couillard called this a desperate and “grotesque act of intimidation by the PQ.” I might be unpopular for not jumping on the band wagon on this one, but I do not really see a problem here. You should be allowed to vote if you are a citizen of Quebec, not if you are here for a few months going to school. If you don’t have the appropriate ID, then you don’t got the right Jack (or should I say Jacques?)

Clash of the Titans

Face a Face 2014, round 2 of the big debate. Once the smoke had cleared a bit, but the coals were still hot, I listened to the political analysts discuss who had done what during the debate.  They all agreed that Francois Legault came out on top. I have to admit, he sure did have a lot to say. In fact, he wouldn’t shut up. The problem is that no one gives a shit what he has to say! Let face facts here, he isn’t going to win the election so why is he hogging up the debate? I wanted to hear from Marois, I wanted to hear from Couillard, I wanted to hear from someone who actually has a shot. The speakers spent most of their time telling us what we shouldn’t be doing. Don’t vote for the other guy, don’t listen to what she has to say, if you vote for that guy your genitalia will shrivel up and fall off! You know what, I don’t want a government that tells me what I shouldn’t do. I am the voter. You guys are asking me for a job. Tell me what you want to do for me! There was much talk about the Charter, much talk about integrity, much talk about language, but not much talk about actual issues like unemployment, healthcare, infrastructure, things that we have to actually fix. It was a big game of he said, she said. I can tell you who the loser of the big debate was: the Voters. But even with that said, if you don’t vote, don’t bitch! So let’s get our butts out there and vote.

 

Footloose

Montreal was not the only city holding a debate last week, the city of Toronto held a mayoral debate last Wednesday in which 5 candidates participated – Karen Stintz, John Tory, Olivia Chow, David Soknacki and (yup you guessed it, the one, the only, the infamous) Rob Ford. Apparently everyone participating tip-toed around the big pink elephant in the room, until 75 minutes into the 90 minute debate when reporter Cynthia Mulligan stated, “You have admitted to smoking crack cocaine. There is a police investigation underway into you as we speak.” What the hell is wrong with these people? If I were running against Mayor Ford, that is my first, last, and only question. “Um Mister Moderator, I would like to open by asking Mr. Ford if he smoked any crack on the way to the debate, just to take the edge off?” Every time he would make a statement, I would reply, “That may be so Mr. Mayor, but you get drunk and make crazy, rambling, angry, fucked up videos, AND you smoke crack!” Guess that is why I am not in politics.

Last Week At a Glance:

A Passage to India

Some of you might know about this already but it was news to me. Seems at the Bold & Naked Studio in Chelsea, New York, you can participate in a Naked Yoga class. The studio writes on its web site “While many equate being naked with sex, this couldn’t be further from the truth in a naked yoga class. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and the amazing confidence that comes with it.” Know what I equate naked yoga with? Butt sniffin’! You go to a yoga class and there is, what, 24 inches separating you and the person in front of you, maybe less? You might as well just walk up and stick your nose in their crotch. No thanks, I just don’t want to be that in tune with my body.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

The Guinness World Book of Records recognizes Iwao Hakamada as the world’s longest serving inmate on death row. There is a title you don’t want to have. After 48 years of incarceration, 30 in solitary confinement, Japan released Hakamada last Thursday. Here is the rub though. After reexamining the case, a Japanese court decided that the evidence to convict Hakamada was probably fabricated by investigators. So my friends, the next time the bus doesn’t show up on time, or you favorite show gets cancelled, or you think you are just having a bad day. Think again.

Last Word of the Week:

The Breakfast Club turned 30 last week! Now if you do not understand this, then there is no reason for me to try to explain it to you.

Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us – in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…

…and an athlete…

…and a basket case…

…a princess…

…and a criminal…

Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.