Fear and Loathing South of the 40: Food You Can Eat (Souveraineté Aliamentaire) and Food You Can’t (Breatharianism)

Money Well Wasted?

You can keep your Grammys and your Academys and your Oscars. What this guy waits for every year are the “Teddy Awards“! And, Hot Dog, last Wednesday they were handed out. The Teddy Awards are given out each year by the Canadian Taxpayers Federation to the people and Government Agencies who waste the most tax payer dollars. Let me tell you, it was a good year. And the winner is… Employment and Social Development Canada. Last Super Bowl they ran an ad advertising a new $15,000 job grant for Canadian teens. Want to know how much an ad like this cost? Let me tell you. $2.5 million of tax payers money, that’s how much. But wait, here’s the rub, the Grant didn’t exist then and still doesn’t exist now. When asked about receiving the award the Agency said “First we would like to thank God…”

The Senate of Canada was given a “Lifetime Achievement Award”. Way to go guys.

Souveraineté Alimentaire = Free-Range Squirrel

The Quebec Wildlife Minister Yves-François Blanchet (yes we have a minister of just about everything) and the Provincial Government has agreed to allow restaurants to introduce “Wild Game” meat onto their menus, and by wild game meat I mean deer, hare, muskrat, beaver and squirrel (Yes, squirrel). Chef David McMillan from Montreal’s Joe Beef restaurant said serving wild game has been a career-long ambition for him. “When it came down to meat products, generally everything [was] farm-raised,” said McMillan. Now call me naïve but I had absolutely no idea there were muskrat, beaver and squirrel farms. To me, this news is just screaming employment opportunity. On my block alone there must me a million dollars of furry little tidbits running around. McMillan went on to say that the taste of squirrel is something halfway between hare and quail. I would have thought it tasted like chicken. Now as for eating beaver… nope, gonna just leave that one alone.



Ritalin Needed To Make Ritalin

Last week we found out that http://www.montrealgazette.com/Pharmacists+alarmed+over+Ritalin+shortage/9555043/story.html“>Quebec Pharmacists are alarmed over a shortage of the drug Ritalin. Ritalin is used to treat children with attention deficit disorder (ADD), and also narcolepsy. Diane Lamarre, president of the Quebec Order of Pharmacists said pharmacists recently learned of the shortage when they called their wholesalers to order 10-mg doses. It seems a shortage of methylphenidate is the source of the problem, reports Pharmascience inc., a Montreal company that produces the generic version of Ritalin. Okay let’s step back and look at this, cause someone is not watching the chicken coop here. First of all don’t the pharmacists know the old boy scout motto “Better to have it and not need it then to need it and not have it?” Stock up for Christ Sakes! You guys are Pharmacists. I am assuming a certain degree of intelligence is involved in becoming a pharmacist, so use it. Then we have the people making it. Hello! Just make more! Do some overtime and crank the shit out. Do you guys have narcolepsy over there — ’cause someone fell asleep at the wheel.

Last Week at a Glance:

Bernard ‘Rambo’ Gauthier

Bernard ‘Rambo’ Gauthier

Last week the FTQ union boss known as Bernard “Rambo” Gauthier took the stand at the Charbonneau Commission. There are a couple of reasons that I am not going to say anything smart about this guy. First of all, I don’t want any late night knocks on my door. Second, his nickname is Rambo. But it ain’t easy — he’s wearing a “Where’s Waldo” shirt. Sheesh.


Last Tuesday, tv personality and animal rights activist, Bob Barker, asked the Ontario Government not to bring back the spring bear hunt, which has been cancelled since 1999.  “You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to realize you’re murdering every cub,” he said. “I urge every Canadian who knows anything about this to step up to the plate and take a swing for the cubs.” He also reminded us to get our dogs and cats spayed or neutered. Thank you for coming on down Bob.

bob barker

bob barker

Last week the CBC ran a story about the Canadian middle class. It was a very interesting if somewhat unsettling story. It talked about how the Canadian Dream was turning into more of a myth than a reality. The article was based on an internal Conservative government report prepared by Employment and Social Development Canada, the department that runs the employment insurance fund and other income-support programs. It states that the income of the middle-income worker has stagnated and that middle-income families are vulnerable to financial shock. At the end of most pieces on the CBC news site you are invited to leave comments about the article you have just read. I would like to share one that followed the article I have just mentioned:

My sister is broke and can’t get a job. Actually, she can get a job but she can’t keep a job. Because she is 5 foot 4 inches tall and weighs 375 pounds. She can do 4 things very well, blame everything on the gov’t. She gets jobs but she doesn’t last long when her employer discovers she can’t stay on her feet for more than 2 minutes or walk more than 50 yards or even sit in a chair for…

What the hell is that? What the holy hell does this have to do with anything other than this person’s sister issues? FishFace, you need a friend. No, actually, you need a therapist. What you do not need is to be airing your dirty-sister-laundry on the CBC News site.

Last word of the week:

Human Barbie Doll

Human Barbie Doll

This is so good I do not want to change one word of it. Get tied on, here we go.

Human Barbie doll Valeria Lukyanova says she intends to train herself to be able to live on just air and light.

“In recent weeks I have not been hungry at all. I’m hoping it’s the final stage before I can subsist on air and light alone,” Lukyanova told the International Business Times.

The Ukranian model and singer whose Facebook page boasts 994,000 “likes,” is apparently following Breatharianism, a mysterious cult that advocates living without food or water. A breatharian is said to be someone who never eats or drinks as they can exist on “cosmic micro-food.”

Well once she figures it out I hope she tells us all. In the meantime, I think most of the “Air and Light” she is living on is right between her ears.

also of interest

About Ken Gaucher

Email Ken Gaucher at ken@montrealrampage.com More Posts